I gave him a piece of it and he took it across seas. I wonder if it’s trailing behind him or is it tucked away safely. That ole heart has seen better days and weathered storms that damn nearly smashed it to pieces. That heart, my heart has lost its way and jumped from many bridges but it’s quite resilent. I pray he cares for that piece like its his own and bring it back in better shape than when it left.
Man may things have happen since I was here last. Gotta Boo, lost some inches and lost some lbs. Im proud that I have made it this far on this wellness journey. So far, the most important thing that I have learned, I can push my self beyond my comfort exercise zone. I usually stop when my body says, “hey this is enough” yet my mind is like, “let’s push a little harder.” I swear this wellness journey is preparing me for things other than exercise. It’s showing me how consistency and hard work produces favorable results. This is amazing to me because I usually quit within the first or second week of something. Now I’m at 47 days with being consistent and I am proud of myself.
I still struggle with the fact that I hate what I look like in the mirror and I have to remind myself to love me where I am and where I am going. So, I speak positive affirmations to myself on a daily, sometimes hourly basis.
About Mr. Boo, he is a beautiful man. Very kind, a bit cautious and very determined. He treats me with much respect and likes my family. I just like his Spirit. He is definitely and mature individual with goals he’s trying to reach and I appreciate and admire that. I’m saying…. When you deal with FUX boys and a MAN comes along you are amazed that you have allowed yourself to give time to those that aren’t worth it. I guess you must know whatsoever work to find out what works.
Well it’s been 31 days since I started seriously on this journey. I can say I have had some ups and downs. There have been days I wanted to quit, like today. However, I realize that with change there are moments that I want to quit but I don’t have to give into it. It’s really about PUSHING past the feeling and settling into the promise. I promised myself that I would lose weight. I want to be down 100lbs by December 30. So far I’m down 16lbs since November 2014 and down 8 since January 6. I’ve lost 2inches in my chest but nothing in my waist or anywhere else. As a matter of fact I’ve gained in my legs and thighs. Perhaps that’s muscle?? I have no idea but it’s been a month and I’m happy I have not gained. Not bad Sheena, not bad at all.
One thing I run into, eating enough. Some days I have to get fast food just to get my calories in. The healthy food is low in cal and high in fiber which makes me hella full and I can’t eat enough without feeling overly full and meet the cals needed. Perhaps I can find another way to do this. Eating earlier in the day and bringing snacks on the road with me.
I have read that there should be smaller goals set and in order to keep yourself motivated. Here they go:
April 2015: down 18lbs (273)
June (birthday month): down 36lbs (255)
Sept 2015: 52 lbs (239)
Dec 2015: 100lbs (200)
That’s about it. Until next time.
Today I am just in my feelings. I feel like I am not being heard and people just don’t GIVE A FUCK if it’s not directly affecting their lives. We often forget that we are not islands and things that affect one affect us all. Wait wait wait…even the islands metaphor is not a good one because if there is a storm on one island then it affects the ocean with is going to cause some type of ripple effect in other areas. For example, winter storm Juno in the northeast maybe causing snow there but here, close to the west coast it’s causing rain and cloudy weather.
Im tired of being ignored because many have deemed me as not being knowledgeable enough. When they do ask me a question and I give an answer they ignore me or treat my information as though it’s shit. I was talking to my Mom about it and she was like, “you give deep answers and when people ask you questions and you give answers they make people think.” Hmmmm I don’t know about that. When it happens over and over and over you begin to think that something is wrong with you.
You know my ex use to say, “Those who feel it know it.” I really didn’t understand then but now I understand and it makes me that much more compassionate and understanding towards others. Yeah, I have my days when I want to slap EVERYONE and their momma but when I calm down I realize that we are humans with all these feelings, ideas, plans, thoughts, ambitions, wishes, goals, dreams etc and they cause us to act in certain ways. We are a beautiful mess, we are survivors…we just are and we need to take it easy on each other and our selves.
Several things have happened over these 17 days. I’ve lost weight, eat cleaner and have more energy. I can tell you I love the variety of foods I have consumed within these couple of weeks (some pics below). I try to eat more of a plant based diet because it fills me up faster and it’s lighter in my stomach. I hate eating a meal that makes me feel bloated and heavy plus it’s easier for me to digest than lots of meat. Now, don’t get me wrong I do eat meat but I try to stick with fish and chicken. Occasionally, I will eat bacon (I am a baconholic) and beef but again that is a very rare occasion.
Also, I am trying not to eat as many grains in order to see how my body reacts. For years, I have suffered from eczema and I find myself breaking out more often. As a result, not only I have removed grains I have stopped eating refined sugars. WHOOOOOOOO the first couple of weeks was HORRIBLE. I was constipated, irritable and frustrate. In the pas,t during this detoxing phase I would usually stop my journey but this time I pushed through and by day 15 I started feeling much better (after 2 bottles of Magnesium Citrate)…a little internal cleaning never harmed anyone…lol.
Exercise:
I try to move everyday even if it’s walking the steep hill and outside my job for 10 mins, Mostly I will do circuit training, waling or dancing. Days I can’t walk I stay under my calories. The thing Im most proud of….I completed the three rounds of a circuit training that I had been struggling with for about a year. I want to exercise all the time and I can really tell the difference in my endurance now that I eat cleaner.
Spaghetti Squash with Mushroom, Kale and Onion Ragu
Balsamic Vinegar Chicken with Sauteed Mushrooms, Kale and Quinoa
Salmon Patties with Red Cabbage Slaw and Organic Spring Mix
You made it 14 days!! That’s close to a month…Damn I am proud of you. Looking over your MFP I see that you have stayed with in your caloric goals. You have excercised at least 3 days every week. So far it seems that you have lost 8 lbs since 1/6/2014. Overall you have lost 16 since November, I am very proud of you. To be honest, it’s not about how many lbs you have lost its really about your consistency. And dammit you have been consistent!!! Go Girl. Im happy because you, my dear have made pretty healthy choices everyday for 14 days even when you have cheat days you still made healthy choices…that’s pretty nifty and shows that you are dedicated to you. Most importantly, you have made some tough choices when it comes to your friends. You realized that many are not helping you build a legacy for you as well as your children. You see that through their advice and word choices they are not speaking from a life giving place but a place of deficiency…..yeah every human has a deficit place (negative place) but we have to choose to recognize this and change….if we want to. i think it’s quite interesting how food choices affect how we think and really shows our mental state which in turns shows up in the people we pick to surround us. But there are some things I would like to discuss with you. Yeah, the not so wonderful things…this things will not make your skin tingle. 1) you are too hard on you….slow down ease up. NO don’t slack on your workouts and calorie counts but ease up on what you think you should lose and how much of it you should be losing in one week. Let’s set a goal….1 lb a week. Perhaps we should also look at the inches lost when the JUDGE (scale) doesn’t move 2) you are not eating enough. Sheena, Queen, eat more your body will not kick you in the ass later. All in all, I love you and I am happy that you are on this journey. You deserve it, your family deserve it and those blazing after you NEED for you to stay your course. Kisses, The best part of you is me.
Well since Monday I have been feeling quite weepy. I just can not explain it. I know lots of things are happening between me an
d a close circle of friends. Im actually reevaluating our relationships and I feel that its not worth it and I need to just let it go. I believe there is a direct connection between weight loss and emotions. A connection between weight loss and decision making. I realize I make healthier decision over all. Like the foods I eat and the people who are in my circle. I can’t repeat this enough….I JUST DONT HAVE TIME FOR FAIR WEATHER FOLKS, NEGATIVE FOLKS.
Today I also feel very fat and ugly. I don’t know why I think 9 days into a journey is going to show significant results…..hahaha. I guess I should take more pics so I can see the results as I go along. But I am pleased that I am staying within my caloric goal. I need to just view myself differently and not be so hard. I think the main thing…..SLEEP EARLIER and I need to get psyillum husk to aid in digestion. I have never been so constipated….ugggh Im drinking enough water at least 10 glass a day. Up the water and increase fiber or psyllium husk. Also I need to eat before I leave work because I get sooooooo hungry on the way home.
I think this quote most defines how I should be thinking today. So I choose to rest in these words and treat myself with respect and love because I deserve it. At least I have decided to take the journey and I am doing it for me and no one else. 
1/12/2015
So today is day 6 of this wellness journey.
Why start a blog now????? Hell why not? But I really want to start a blog 6 days into my wellness journey because I need to hold ME accountable. Plus, I need to look back on what I did and did not do on this wellness journey.
December 2014
What is my goal?
To be physically fit. I am tired of feeling my belly on my legs when I sit and I want to be a size 12-16. Dream size 12 size I would be happy at 16 or 14.
What am i going to do?
-Exercise everyday (ZUMBA) and If I can’t get to Zumba then I will do a circuit training and stay below my calorie count. My thing is that I just don’t want to cheat myself. I also WANT incorporating weights at least twice a week to start.
– Calculating calories with MyFitness Pal
-Calories to maintain: 2400 to 2600
-Calories in order to lose: 1900-2100
-I am trying to stay within 1900 per week
The Issues:
I have all of these people trying to give me advice. All I hear, No, dont count calories its bad for you, You are starving yourself, More protein, less carbs, less sugar, more sugar, don’t eat fruit, eat fruit, don’t eat many vegetables, eat as many vegetables as you want count count divide add subtract….. uggg this is driving me crazy. etc etc etc. So I have decided to just do what I feel is best for me. Its a journey right??? On every journey you walk, stumble, fall, climb, fall and get up and try again.
WITH THAT BEING SAID: I dont mind counting calories its makes me feel good and I feel accountable. I have to really be honest with myself about the food that I eat. I am not trying to lie to self that would be crazy. So I have to shut out the outside noise and stop tryin to please folks…..especially my family members and close friends. Hell let them eat what they want.
Another thing….protien, carbs and all that jazz. I hear I need to eat all of this protien and all that other stuff but I dont know what kind and how much. I guess I will just research.
BY THE END OF THE WEEK: find out how much protien I need to lose weight. Work out at least 5 days a week.
Nyann Faces The Mountian, Mountians In Her Case 