Today I am just in my feelings. I feel like I am not being heard and people just don’t GIVE A FUCK if it’s not directly affecting their lives. We often forget that we are not islands and things that affect one affect us all. Wait wait wait…even the islands metaphor is not a good one because if there is a storm on one island then it affects the ocean with is going to cause some type of ripple effect in other areas. For example, winter storm Juno in the northeast maybe causing snow there but here, close to the west coast it’s causing rain and cloudy weather.
Im tired of being ignored because many have deemed me as not being knowledgeable enough. When they do ask me a question and I give an answer they ignore me or treat my information as though it’s shit. I was talking to my Mom about it and she was like, “you give deep answers and when people ask you questions and you give answers they make people think.” Hmmmm I don’t know about that. When it happens over and over and over you begin to think that something is wrong with you.
You know my ex use to say, “Those who feel it know it.” I really didn’t understand then but now I understand and it makes me that much more compassionate and understanding towards others. Yeah, I have my days when I want to slap EVERYONE and their momma but when I calm down I realize that we are humans with all these feelings, ideas, plans, thoughts, ambitions, wishes, goals, dreams etc and they cause us to act in certain ways. We are a beautiful mess, we are survivors…we just are and we need to take it easy on each other and our selves.
Nyann Faces The Mountian, Mountians In Her Case 